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Update on Jessica Simpson: Still an Idiot [06 Jun 2006|02:26pm]

mharvster



GOOD job Jessica Simpson's got beauty because she's deeply challenged in the brains department. The bimbette, who's been tipped to star in the upcoming Baywatch movie, bumped into Pamela Anderson last week and stunned her by asking: "How did you guys run so slowly in the show's opening scene. You know, where you're running down the beach?" Pam, 38, who played the original CJ, was rendered speechless but after an awkward silence, patiently explained: "It was shot in slow motion." She even resisted the urge to add "Duh!"


Ohmygod lover. This "story" is clearly tabloid trash. If it were anyone else, I might consider it to be true, but since it's Jessica Simpson, we can automatically disregard its validity. We all know Jessica is the pinnacle of intelligence (and beauty, as pointed out). This story sounds fishy. It smells a whole lot like tuna, in fact.

SOURCE
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Lindsay Lohan Loves European Penis [06 Jun 2006|02:14pm]

mharvster





Lindsay Lohan was horrified to hear that at Kenny G's birthday party over the weekend, Brandon Davis's grandmother told people that her grandson and the Just My Luck star are now a couple, after Brandon was caught on camera unleashing a slew of insults about the actress. Her publicist told PageSix.com, "It is unfortunate that Barbara Davis is desperate enough to make up a lie about Lindsay dating her grandson. Lindsay took the high road and accepted Brandon's apology last week, but they are not dating and they did not go to dinner together. Lindsay is dating several men who live overseas."


This isn't exactly surprising news, but the fact that her publicist said it seems to imply that Lindsay wants the whole world to know she's a whore. Which is wonderful news. It also appears the Karl Lagerfeld is one of these many overseas men. Dating 68 year-old men is SO the new dating hunky heirs. Lindsay earns so much street cred for the overseas thing, too.

SOURCE
1 comment|post comment

[14 Feb 2006|12:49am]

mharvster



"One time I arrived at a party in a helicopter.
I kind of felt bad because the wind from the propellers
blew champagne glasses out of people's hands.
...But I thought it was cool."
-Paris Hilton

4 comments|post comment

Dannii Minogue: Still Queen of the DS [10 Feb 2006|01:56pm]

mharvster


Kylie Minogue's sister, Dannii Minogue, was caught at the London club Puss In Boots with a naked lapdancer. There's a CCTV security video of the entire event, and it features Dannii breaking the 'no touch' policy and getting totally lesbian with her.

Another astonished punter told us: "Dannii was having the time of her life and didn't care who saw. She wasn't in a private booth or the VIP area, she was on thedance floor.

"I can't believe how far they went. It was more like a porn film. There were hands and tongues everywhere-I thought it was going to turn into a full-on orgy."

The gob-smacking video footage obtained by the News of the World clearly shows 34-year-old Dannii: RELISHING simulated sex romps with dancer Jupiter, SNOGGING with her passionately, THRUSTING her face into her boobs and FONDLING the performer's curves.




Source

more pictures

I just love the term "getting totally lesbian with her." Who can say they're surprised? Yeah, no one. Dannii is so great.
1 comment|post comment

once a DS, always a DS [14 Oct 2005|03:30pm]

kissintime

Madonna: brawn over brains

From the beginning....around 1983(?) to the period just preceding Evita, Madonna SUCKED. Every so often, there was the occasional great pop song....and dare I say it, a few classics (Vogue, Express Yourself, Erotica....). Nevertheless, she was still an annoying person, constantly being put on/putting herself on an imaginary pedestal.
Then by some miracle called William Orbit, she made one of the greatest pop albums of all time (I kid you not), called Ray of Light. The songwriting, lyrics, and production on every song were superb. There was complexity, variety, and intensity. It was like someone else made this beautiful batch of 13 songs and brought Madonna into the studio to record them. Her voice sounded alot different than it ever had before...it was gentle, but deeper and even powerful.
She followed this up with Music, a decent album that didn't hold a candle to its predecessor. Then she went on a tour that was quite the visual/musical spectacle and featured more songs from these two albums than her old, useless material. I might have even had the idiocy to call myself a fan at this point, and I was expecting something amazing by the time New Madonna's third album came around.
Well....American Life could have been good, if Madonna's lyrical abilities had continued their development after she turned 9. It turned out to be a true reminder of what an unintelligent, useless, and pathetically overrated entertainer this woman is.
Still, considering a) what she had achieved since 1998 and that b) American Life would've made a great instrumental dance album, I kept an smidgen of faith in her, that she might yet impress me. I'm not sure how her next tour turned out because I refused to waste my money on seeing her perform her "greatest hits" live, and to this day there hasn't been a DVD release.
So the moment of truth came yesterday, when the new single "Hung Up" leaked onto the internet. If you've heard the song, then I've nothing more to say. If you haven't, I leave you with the lyrics, and you can see for yourself why I regret ever taping a (4x6 in.) picture of this woman to my bedroom wall:

Those who RUN seem to have all the FUNCollapse )
3 comments|post comment

Promote! [31 Aug 2005|04:28pm]

mharvster
Since we all know how much you LOVE DistrictDS with all of your heart, I encourage you to get your LJ skills out and ready for use to spread the word of this lovely little center of the DS.

Here's the code that you can simply copy and paste into your info, or a brand new entry in your very own journal informing people of the glory that is DistrictDS. Just highlight all of the text in the box, go to Edit > Copy on the top bar of your browser, and click on Edit > Paste to place the button where you'd like it.



It should come out looking just like this:




It's cute and petite, so it shouldn't be too much of a bother to use, and plus Paris is a perfect example of DS. If Paris isn't your cup of tea, I'd be glad to make more buttons or whatever. Give me suggestions and it's done.

Just promote! Tell your friends, your family, and every DS you know. They need to be embraced.

Thank you!
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uh-oh, CoCo [31 Aug 2005|01:55pm]

kissintime
If you are not familiar with the supreme queen of DS on the eastern side of the globe, it is time to get with it! Ladies and gentlemen, Chinese singing sensation/whore, CoCo Lee:

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

DS feastCollapse )
5 comments|post comment

A match made in heaven [26 Aug 2005|02:59pm]

mharvster
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Actors Lindsay Lohan, 19, and Jared Leto, 33, heated up the VIP section of the trendy Tropicana Bar inside L.A.'s Roosevelt Hotel on Aug. 20. Star magazine reports: "They were making out. They were totally concentrated on each other. They were talking and laughing and joking with each other for at least a half hour."

Source

Woah at least a half hour. They're in love, ya'll. Besides, we all know Linds loves huge cocks. Despite having dated Wilmer Valderramma.
5 comments|post comment

Tara Reid continues to lead the way in state-of-the-art DSity [26 Aug 2005|02:43pm]

mharvster
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

"I wish all the mean people, if you want to be mean to each other, just buy a country together and blow each other up. Then we'd have no terrorists left. Like, don't kill innocent people for no reason. It's not fair. We love everybody. We'd even like them if they said they're sorry. It's not fair that innocent people are getting hurt. It makes me sad."

- Tara Reid commenting on the London bombings in the latest episode of "Taradise"
3 comments|post comment

Aretha Franklin [31 Jul 2005|07:47pm]

kissintime
She's not a DS really, but she's fat. She also has the most magical weaves.



just a just a just a just a....Collapse )
6 comments|post comment

Automatic, supersonic, hypnotic...not-so funky-fresh? [27 Jul 2005|12:42am]

mharvster
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Nice wig, C-C.

I'm not an expert on wigs, so maybe I'm not qualified to insult the quality of Ciara's synthetic adornment. However, I'm severely distressed by the blatant netting in that part of hers. Actually the part doesn't really belong to her when it's not made of her hair, does it? What's possibly even more upsetting is that Ciara's makeup artist is clearly failing at beauty school. S/he seems to not be talented enough to cover up the, um, putty is it? ...that is holding the mop to her forehead. It's like someone went to Home Depot and picked up a special shade of brown grout that you would use to tile the floor in your entryway (you know, so the dirt that's tracked in doesn't show) and decided to use that. I won't even get started on her rumored penis, but I don't think the Queen of Crunk n' B will be very pleased to see these pictures.

a couple more views of the gorgeous ornamentationCollapse )
5 comments|post comment

glamorest DS [25 Jul 2005|02:53pm]

kissintime
from Only Trina:


Since the release of Trina's 2nd album "Diamond Princess" she has released her own movie titled "Miami Tail" and has recently been working on her new album titled "Glamorest Life". "I'm still the same girl," she says, "just more mature. I got a lot of hot joints talking about you know, the money, the jewelry, the sex... but it's just in a whole other way."

step my game up, sex my frame upCollapse )
2 comments|post comment

Scarlett misses Jared's penis [25 Jul 2005|11:24am]

mharvster

Scarlett: A Leto Obsessed?

Is it "get a clue time" for actress, Scarlett Johansson? The New York Post reports that the 20 year-old Lost in Translation star has been cuddling up with her ex, perpetually unbathed 33 year-old actor, Jared Leto behind the back of her new BF, Josh Hartnett. A source with the paper claims Jared dumped Scarlett because she was "too young for him," but seems to have no problem "sneaking out [to have] midnight trysts" with her under the noses of Josh, and Jared's new GF, 19-year-old, Ashley Olsen. Does the phrase "he's just not into you" ring a bell?


Source

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Oh, Scarlett. You know I like you. I like you a lot, and I suppose I can't blame you for continuously slutting it up with Jared and his python while your boyfriend is at home with his unibrow and stuff. But yeah, I just can't help myself...you're still a DS.

2 comments|post comment

Jared Leto's penis is huge. [22 Jul 2005|05:34pm]

mharvster

FYI: Jared Leto's penis is probably bigger than yours.

What is it about underemployed actor Jared Leto that’s enabled him to consistently snare ladies like Cameron Diaz, Britney Spears, Scarlett Johansson and Lindsey Lohan? Mere weeks after Mark Felt emerged from the shadows, the 33-year-old Requiem for a Dream star’s own Deep Throat, porn actress Corina Taylor, has come forward with the answer: Apparently, Leto’s true talent resides in his pants.

Taylor, the X-rated star of such celluloid classics as 1 Dick 2 Chicks Part 2 and The Blowjob Adventures of Dr. Fellatio Part 42, tells Radar she got cozy with Leto on his tour bus in Little Rock, Ark, along with a few strippers and bandmates from his vanity project, 30 Seconds from Mars, in April 2002. “I’ve been a porn actress for three years and Jared was the most I ever had to work with,” Corina gushes. “There’s definitely a second career available for him if he ever runs out of mainstream work.” Or, gets run out on a rail. Now that the three-legged Leto has moved on to tiny 19-year-old Ashley Olsen, we can only hope some larger-scale starlet catches his eye before disaster strikes.

from radarmagazine.com


Okay so, first of all...Jared Leto has a huge penis. Now that we've got the most important issue out of the way, let me just note how many DS big shots he's broken in half with his....attitude. Cameron Diaz probably got scared of the monstrosity, which explains why she's with Justin now. A couple of years ago someone who peed next to Justin said he's not particularly impressive. So obviously we know the truth now. Scarlet is probably a huge sex fiend. She recently insisted on having a topless scene in her movie. She loves her huge knockers, and probably other abnormally large things. Like cocks. Britney....well, let's just pray that poor Jared didn't catch her cooties. Poor Ashley Olsen is in way over her head, and I don't even need to explain why this Corina harlot is a DS.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

The point? (other than the fact that JARED HAS A HUGE PENIS...) Jared Leto has gone through a hella impressive (or perhaps just long) line of DSs. Apparently he's getting bored of younger women and might start seeing people his own age. I wouldn't be surprised if Dannii Minogue were next.

3 comments|post comment

Back in the day: Victoria Adams gets Beckified [19 Jul 2005|02:35pm]

mharvster
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Victoria looks unhappy on her wedding day. You can tell by the way she defiantly holds her frail hands on her hips in such a scornful manner. The look on her face can ONLY mean she has just uttered some outlandish order to her little asian slave down there. Is she angry because he's doing something wrong with her dress? Is she angry because she's not orange enough for the biggest day of her life? She looks dark enough to me, but maybe being the darkest thing in the room (next to her hair) just doesn't cut it for Vicky's skin. Perhaps she's upset because the slave put her crown on crooked. That must be it.

Or maybe...Collapse )
10 comments|post comment

Bai Ling and vintage Draguilera still DS, experts say [18 Jul 2005|03:30pm]

mharvster


Isn't it refreshing to see Xtina do so much work breaking barriers? She's been doing it for so long now, telling everyone that they're beautiful (even sometimes when it's not true!), I'm proud of her. Here she is with fellow barrier-breaking, nipple-popping slutpal, Bai Ling. They're just at "Outfest" to support the gays. They don't experiment with each other or anything.

But this isn't just any free-the-caged-fags event. This is a rare occasion. Little Bai is most definitely grabbing Christina's big knockers. Er, just one. I suppose she wouldn't be able to fit both of those in those fair tiny hands of hers. Especially considering each mammary gland is approximately twice the size of her head, which I might add, is sitting atop neck at the same height as the aforementioned mammae. Anyway, Xtina looks like she's about to yell out a "Golly, me!". I'd reccomend that Bai peace out before Christina breaks more fingers as she beats that bitch down for thinking she can touch her like that. Just because she's a strong female who likes to experiment with her sexuali-T does NOT mean you can violate her, okay? But by the way she asked me to ask you if she could suck your cock in a minute. So, get ready!

I'm a little distressed about Bai Ling's hair. Does it always look like her bangs are just, taped on to the mid-section of her scalp? Did those little slices of gelled-up hair in front of your ears fall from the sky at the second this picture was taken, or did you actually tape those on too? Is that blood spewing from your ear, Lingy? Cause the blades of hair falling from the sky would explain that. And I thought Chrissy got over the Marilyn? It's good to see her and her sliced tendons all healed up, though. Her doctor told her no more gasping for a few weeks but she's already breaking new medical barriers by doing it already! What a fighter.
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