Michael (mharvster) wrote in districtds,

Back in the day: Victoria Adams gets Beckified

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Victoria looks unhappy on her wedding day. You can tell by the way she defiantly holds her frail hands on her hips in such a scornful manner. The look on her face can ONLY mean she has just uttered some outlandish order to her little asian slave down there. Is she angry because he's doing something wrong with her dress? Is she angry because she's not orange enough for the biggest day of her life? She looks dark enough to me, but maybe being the darkest thing in the room (next to her hair) just doesn't cut it for Vicky's skin. Perhaps she's upset because the slave put her crown on crooked. That must be it.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Maybe she's upset over her stretch marks, since she had pretty recently given birth to her first (illegitimate) son, named Brooklyn, of all things. David and Victoria conceived the child in Brooklyn. That's sweet, I wonder what he says now when people are like, "What's going on with you being called BROOKLYN?". Or better yet, that chat at home must've been pretty funny.

David: "Do you know why we named you Brooklyn? It's because that's where I knocked up your mum. It was in this beautiful alley in Brooklyn, with the lovely crack deal--uh, citizens standing by as witness to our love. Always remember where you came from, son."

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Victoria looks a little more pleased with herself at the wedding reception. Probably because she got to wear that chic purple eyeshadow she's had since she was eight. Pro-old school! Plus, she got to slick back her hair with some shiny stuff (maybe sweat from her afternoon delight with David), inspiring a wave of Federlines many years later. Always a trendsetter!

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Well, she looks happy in this one. Or at least a bit devious and sneaky. Probably because she's standing next to her hot, lifetime financial security partner. Let's go home and make some more babies! (With memorable names, like Romeo and Cruz. With a 'Z'.)

And they lived happily ever after.
Tags: crowns, ds, tanorexia, victoria beckham
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic